It’s important to note that women are the biggest buyers of men’s underwear. With our readers, I think it’s reversed. No matter what your sexual orientation most guys who read this blog buy their own underwear. I know we have had women readers over the years and thought we needed to talk to this market. Many of you know Jayinca, he’s written a few things over the last few months. He’s a big fan of thongs and bikinis. So we wanted to ask his wife a few questions
Hi Tim, I am so happy that you asked these questions and although I am not the witty and creative writer that my husband is — I am always happy to answer questions and help out in any way that I am able! I love the idea of bringing the women’s perspective along for the ride!
When you first met Jayinca, when did you find out about his love of underwear/swimwear? What did you think? (surprised, shocked, didn’t phase you?)
I believe it all started with dating and realizing that Jayinca was most definitely a “butt guy”. It was not a secret it was his favorite body part on a woman and that he enjoyed seeing women’s butts in a thong. I knew he loved women in thongs. I know early on in our dating I believe he had mentioned something about having worn a thong in the past. I definitely saw that as unique but really did not ask many more questions or pay much attention to it; which reflecting back is pretty strange because I am the person that would then ask fifteen detailed and in-depth questions after a guy reveals that he has worn a thong before. Months of dating passed and then one day I discovered in one of his drawers a bag that was full of thongs. I think I was a bit in shock, but also felt some stirring of excitement and maybe even a little jealousy of why this had been kept a secret in a bag.
I immediately said, “put one on, I want to see!” What I saw was quite sexy and I made sure to let him know that I liked what I saw! I’m sure I then bombarded him with tons of questions about this secret bag of goodness.
I’m not sure I would say at this point he “loved” to wear sexy underwear but maybe more of an openness or a curiosity in himself. I also have to admit that I still felt somewhat odd about the whole thing, but it quickly turned to loving him wearing them for me.
Have you encouraged his love of underwear? If so do you buy him undies from time to time?
Encouraging him to wear sexy underwear is probably an understatement. Demanding him to wear sexy underwear is probably a little closer to the truth! I DESPISE boxers and boxer briefs. I have changed though because when we first started dating I believe that my preference would have been boxers. However, seeing his amazing backside in thongs or even briefs just made me realize that boxers and boxer briefs really are the furthest thing from sexy that you can be. I have shared with him that I love for him to wear thongs every day and if not thongs then briefs. I have secretly thrown away boxers and also have hidden them. I LOVE looking at thongs or briefs to buy for him and imagining him in them and then I get super excited for them to arrive. We are separate from each other at work for most of the day, so I also will ask for pictures to be sent so that I can see him in them. Sometimes we will shop for them together and I will put my vote in for my favorites and sometimes I will just buy them for him.
He’s posted pictures of you two in thongs on the beach, how do you react to people who see your husband in a thong?
We are still experiencing new things with underwear and thongs, so it is only recently that he has worn a thong publicly at the beach. This was a pretty exciting thing for us both and a pretty big deal. So I only have a handful of people that I have seen react to him in a thong. Part of me feels a little nervous and protective because people can just be so mean. He is really putting himself out there to wear them publicly and so it would really hurt me if someone hurt him. That being said, so far I feel like the people who have walked by that I noticed react fell into the following categories:
1. OMG, I think I just saw a guy in a thong, I will immediately look away and never look back again! Didn’t see it, didn’t happen….watch me walk along with a serious face and act as if my eyes were never drawn to his ass. 2. SHOCK resulting in laughter or facial expressions – one young guy walking with a woman starting laughing, looked pretty shocked and then said “Nice” (not sure if that was sarcastic, or I’m super uncomfortable and so the word Nice just came out of my mouth, or if he actually thought Nice – rock on dude with your sexy ass!) 3. Disapproval/Disgust – a clear facial expression displaying disapproval and maybe looking at the person next to them and scanning for their reaction hoping that it is also one of disapproval!
2. SHOCK resulting in laughter or facial expressions – one young guy walking with a woman starting laughing, looked pretty shocked and then said “Nice” (not sure if that was sarcastic, or I’m super uncomfortable and so the word Nice just came out of my mouth, or if he actually thought Nice – rock on dude with your sexy ass!) 3. Disapproval/Disgust – a clear facial expression displaying disapproval and maybe looking at the person next to them and scanning for their reaction hoping that it is also one of disapproval!
3. Disapproval/Disgust – a clear facial expression displaying disapproval and maybe looking at the person next to them and scanning for their reaction hoping that it is also one of disapproval!
I approve of all positive reactions, I don’t mind if women or men think he is sexy, hot, or amazing….because he is! As long as they keep their hands off – those are my buns!
What is your favorite men’s underwear style on your husband? What don’t you like?
My favorite style is by far thongs – shows the sexiest part of him off! I’m a pretty open person so I’m not sure if there is anything brief or thong that I don’t like. I guess I would say those super feminine undies on men are not really something that I have found myself to be attracted to, but hey …never say never! Oh, I will say for colors that I am less attracted to black, gray, navy blue type colors that I consider more boring. I like bold, bright, designs etc.
Jayinca has written a few things for us, did you read them? What did you think of the posts?
As far as I know I have read everything he has written and I think he is an amazing writer and I thoroughly enjoy reading what he writes and also hearing him talk about things that make him feel good. I believe that for him it feels pretty amazing to inspire others to be themselves and I imagine that he is doing that for so many people!
What is your advice for men who have been hiding their love of underwear from their wives/gfs?
This is a great and tough question and I rarely answer things briefly so watch out! If they have just never shared that they love sexy underwear then they have some goals right now to set for themselves. Being our true and authentic self is how we attract the right kind of people into our lives. If we hide or lie about who we are to the person that is our partner we are in some ways being a fraud and letting our fears make our decisions for us – I feel this is a shame. Plus it may be doing a disservice to everyone involved because it is possible that the other person would also really enjoy sexy underwear on their partner. A great example is that if I would have never found Jayinca’s lovely bag of thongs and if he would have kept that secret and felt ashamed, I bet he wouldn’t be writing for a blog and wearing sexy underwear; that means I would have missed out on a lot of joy in seeing him in them. I didn’t come into the relationship loving thongs, but his openness and bravery combined with my openness led to where we are today. Hiding those things would have been a disservice to us both!
I do however recommend that starting slow and gradual would be important. I think that societal norms in our culture are such a huge huge part of what we determine is sexy. It is almost like being brainwashed. Since we are so conditioned this way, I would recommend starting out by discussing things that both people think are sexy. Maybe hinting a little that wearing sexy underwear is something that feels good to you. I think reading how the other person responds at that point is a great guide in where to go from there. I think if the person shows interest and asks more questions or hints that they like this idea or would be interested in seeing that, then this is a good green light for you. I also think that if someone freaks out or thinks it is disgusting this may not be the right person. This probably depends very much on how important wearing sexy underwear is to you. Personally, I am very open minded and very much can develop new interests or things that I think are sexy if I know that it is a turn on for my partner. So remember, I did not come into the relationship all hot over guys in sexy briefs or thongs! This was something that developed by trying things out and being motivated by what turns each other on. I believe for us underwear is quite sexual, however, it doesn’t need to be a “turn on” to enjoy each other in underwear that is not just boring ol’ tighty whiteys or super boring boxers that cover up every part of potential sexiness.
I also think that even if a partner’s first reaction is not one of – throw you down on the bed and rip your clothes off – all is not lost. I think some things take time and as long as there is some level of openness and some desire to make each other happy then there is some room here for growing gradually. Communicate with each other and be vulnerable, maybe there is something that your partner would like you to get into or approve of too. This is the perfect opportunity to at least try out what the other person is interested in. We can’t force ourselves to love or even like what our partner does, but we can at least give something a try.
Remember our brains have been trained to respond negatively to men in sexy underwear. Don’t even get me started on men wearing board shorts to the beach!!! YIKES!! Huge double standard — women show every possible bit of skin you have and tan it — men cover up as much as possible, as baggy as possible, and get the strangest 1/2 leg tan that you can!!
The most important thing I can say is that you are not a weirdo for wanting to wear sexy underwear. Be you! Own it, rock it, love it, thong it! There are other great people out there just like you. My husband and I LOVE talking about undies, shopping together for them, seeing each other in them, and even writing about it! Surround yourself with someone that allows you to be who you truly are. We won’t please everyone, not everyone will like us, but when you are your true authentic self that’s when you know the people who are around you are the best possible people for you! Thong on men!