Marital Bliss—Underwear Shopping with Your Wife

On a recent weekend trip to Portland, my wife and I ventured into an alleyway downtown and found this brilliant little French restaurant. I can’t recall what we ate, but I do remember a delightful dessert that came out flaming. The French restaurant is irrelevant to this story, but does set the tone for what happened later on that evening.

As we left dinner, we grabbed hands and made our way back to the main drag. It was then that I noticed a massive green and white sign blaring the name “underU4men” in bright lights as if it were calling my name. I must have made a gawking noise because my wife asked me what was wrong. I simply pointed and insisted that we stroll down the block to check out one of the largest men’s underwear stores on the West Coast. She promptly set the limit of my spending budget, locked her arm in mine, and said, “Let’s go buy some briefs.”

As we approached the large pane glass windows, I was amazed at the enormous inventory on display. People were moving about inside as clerks rang sales at the sleekly designed registers. We entered through the doors and were greeted with a cheery West coast, “Hello!”

I will say that entering into a men’s underwear boutique can sometimes be intimidating. The clerk that greeted us was female and asked what we were looking for. We told her that we were just browsing and she made us feel write at home. The most incredible feeling of the night was that my wife was right beside me talking intelligently about designer underwear.

I asked the clerk about the Andrew Christian Almost Naked line and if they carried Obviously. She answered my questions and pointed to the Obviously wall display. She then engaged my wife in conversation about bargain shopping and showed her an entire wall with pull out bins full of $5 undies. I decided at that moment that I must have died and gone to Undie heaven—cheap designer underwear and a beautiful woman helping me pick them out. We purchased a couple of pairs and headed back to the hotel.

The romantic dinner and the underwear shopping set the tone for great conversation that helped us to connect on a very deep level. What’s the moral of this little story? Take your wife underwear shopping with you—it might just light a new fire in your marriage and create a little marital bliss.

Expiration dates seem to plague the refrigerator in my house.  From milk to jams to sandwich meat, food producers are constantly telling us the “best used by” date to hamburger meats and any other assortment of produce, canned goods, frozen products, and the classic “refrigerate after opening” products that we all use. No doubt, this is to protect our bodies from harmful organism growth that takes place once our food reaches its shelf life.  Although underwear doesn’t spoil per se (well, I guess if you are into some really interesting stuff like never washing, it will), I believe undies do have a wear out date.

Because I believe that great undies never go out of style, they obviously can’t spoil like our food.  This leads me to lay down a solid definition of “wear-out-date.” Salvatore’s definition of wear-out-date is simple; the point in which your undies need to be thrown in the trash.  If you are into super kinky fetish things—this post is not directed at you and what you like.  I don’t condemn or condone fetishes, but don’t want to give off the feel that I am putting you down for what you like.  My consistent statement about underwear is that YOU have to be comfortable with what YOU like.  With that said, let’s get started.

Collecting vs. Hoarding

We’ve all seen the reality T.V. shows detailing how little Ms. So and So from 4th Street has been attempting to take care of dozens of cats in her two bedroom apartment only to find out that her sanitary level is below the cut line.  This is an example of hoarding.  We’ve also seen the shows where Mr. Antique Man finds all of the cool oil company signs and displays them in a museum like manner for the neighbors and townspeople to gawk at when they visit for the annual Christmas charity dinner.  This is called collecting.  The major difference in hoarding and collecting boils down to three simple categories: organization of product, recognition of junk, and highlighting every piece within the repertoire in an appropriate manner.  Hoarders simply fail to draw the lines and negotiate the obstacle of getting rid of junk.  Collectors have a system that allows for max use of the collection.  Again, neither one is right.  Neither one is wrong.  I want to target those of you that are interested in being a superb collector of fine underthings for men.  So here goes!

My Determination to Collect and Cull

A couple of years ago, I discovered that I can truly find the perfect fit of underwear if I am diligent in trying new things and search hard for the latest and greatest.  I stumbled upon Andrew Christian’s Almost Naked Limited Edition Infinity Line.  I purchased two pairs to try out.  They both were striped.  In fact, I’m wearing one of the briefs as I type this post.  This was the first time that I encountered the anatomical pouch.  If you’ve read any other of my posts, you know that I’m an anatomical pouch brief fanatic.  Why—Simply because this style of pouch and cut of underwear is what I feel most comfortable in and enjoy the most.  Could have easily have been thongs or boxer briefs.  I just like briefs with anatomical pouches.

This newfound obsession quickly led to a dilemma of sorts.  I found myself wearing the same two pairs of underwear over and over again.  Because of this, I was washing them daily just so I could enjoy what I was wearing.  A few weeks went by and the fabric started wearing out.  The other thing I noticed is that I had hundreds of dollars in designer briefs that I no longer enjoyed slipping on.  The anatomical briefs and the obsession that ensued was kind of like the first time I experienced the ice cream cones with the chocolate in the bottom. I didn’t want to go back to the plain cones or plain, non-anatomical underwear any more.  Andrew Christian briefs are not exactly cheap and I certainly didn’t want to have to get rid of them after a few months of wear because of overuse.  I slowly added more to the collection and then had some decisions to make: 1.) What do I do with the rest of the collection? 2.) How do I ensure that I wear everything in the collection? 3.) How do I change my laundry habits to cut down on fabric wear.  The answers to these questions have helped me to lengthen the wear out date of my fabulous designer underwear collection (almost exclusively anatomical pouch briefs).

3 Steps to Collecting Well

1.) CULL the COLLECTION

The first step to being an aficionado of fine men’s underwear is to cull the collection.  When I stumbled upon the anatomical pouch phenomenon, I went through a few phases of collecting.  First, I put all of the non-anatomical pouch briefs into a forgotten drawer that I never used.  That’s right, I stopped wearing around 75 pairs of great undies in favor my start up collection of anatomical pouch briefs.  I occasionally had to dip in the “no longer wear” pile during emergency laundry situations.  Once my anatomical collection got up to around 20 pairs, I started to give away or throw away the briefs that I no longer wore.  This was painful, but liberating!  The key to this portion of culling is to RID YOURSELF OF WHAT YOU NO LONGER WEAR!

I’d say the other cull that is necessary is to get rid of anything that is dingy, has holes in it, is soiled badly, or has fabric that is beginning to fray.  There is nothing worse than dropping your pants at the gym or in the bedroom to reveal designer undies that look like they’ve been run over by a freight train that pooped on them.  Many people think that there is no reason to get rid of disgusting undies. After all, no one will ever see them right?  What happens if you get in a car wreck and the hot nurse has to cut your pants off?  What about when my wife surprises me with a little late night or middle of the day pillow talk (very little talking involved)?  You name the surprise situation and I guarantee you that you’d rather have nice serviceable undies as opposed to beat up worn out drawers to put on display.  Simply TOSS THE BEAT UP UNDERPANTS!

2.) ORGANIZE THE COLLECTION

If you are like me, for years I just threw my expensive undies in a pile in the drawer.  I never new what I had available for wear, where to find it, or how many clean pairs I had left.  One day, playing off of my wife’s extremely organized dresser drawers and closet. I took her advice and starting organizing my underwear in a fashion that is easily viewable and accessible.  I roll them and stand them waistband up.  This allows me to see the brand and the color in one fell swoop.  I then place the underwear into three different drawers based on three basic categories: everyday wear, workout wear (sports brief or no side panel just the waistband), and sleep/lounge wear (usually super skimpy, revealing, and low-cut).

How does this help preserve the collection and lengthen wear out date? I’m glad you asked.  By organizing in a manner that is easy to access and easy to view, I tend to where a large variety of things.  Because I typically go through three pairs of undies a day (workout, all day, and sleep).  I need to be able to access all three types quickly without defaulting to whatever is on top of the pile (usually what you just wore and washed lands on top).  This causes a less frequent wear time for each individual pair in turn lengthening the wear out date.

3.) WASH THE COLLECTION

That means exactly what it says.  I wash the entire collection at one time in one load.  Why? I have found that if I force myself to wear every piece in the collection before I wash. I not only wear everything in my dresser. I don’t over wear the colors, patterns, and particular brands that I like the most.  The fastest way to destroy your collection is overuse.  Fabrics will fray and you will have to cull a whole lot quicker.

The system that I use to do this is simple.  I have a laundry bag in the corner of my closest (so my wife doesn’t see it and assume I want to wash).  I wear a pair and throw it in the bag.  I don’t wash the contents of the bag until I have completely depleted what’s in my dresser.  You figured it out.  That means that on the nights that I wash, I have ZERO pairs left to choose from to sleep in—SO I GO COMMANDO!  I wash overnight.  The next morning I roll (fold) the entire collection at one time. It’s my favorite day of the month.  I get to see every pair of anatomical briefs that I own at one time.  Every color, every pattern, and every awesome waistband is right in front of me for my own viewing pleasure.

This third and final step has been crucial to lengthening the wear out date.  The fabrics remain nice and smooth.  The colors stay bright.  The waistbands stay crisp and sharp.  Because I don’t want to buy anything expensive and wear it out in short order. I highly recommend that you systematize your wash process.

To Sum it Up

By reading this post, you, my friend, are on your way to having a collection that all men will envy.  Some of you will take my advice and move from being a hoarder to being a collector.  I am so in tune with what I like that I don’t even wear a pair if I try them on and they don’t fit just right.  In fact, I have six pairs in a bottom drawer that I wasn’t too excited about the pouch.  I will be giving them to @UNBTim because he’s a good friend to me and we share the same passion—UNDERWEAR!  Collect your underwear like you are collecting vintage baseball cards.  Take care of them and put them on display.  Don’t keep junk.  Always look for the mint condition undies that fit your pearls well.  Enjoy your UNDERPANTS.

If you like what you’ve read or have anything to add, feel free to leave comments.  At Underwear News Briefs, we enjoy interacting with our readers.  You can also follow me on Twitter @manatomicallyme.  Thanks for ready.  Happy UNDIES!

I started my underwear journey in small town America. With very little means of acquiring the latest and greatest in men’s underthings.  As I have shared many times before. The only stores in my hometown that sold undies involved Wal-Mart and an old department store named MM Cohn’s.  Wal-Mart carried mainly Hanes bikini briefs and Fruit of the Loom low-rise briefs.  MM Cohn’s had a wonderful selection of Jockey Elance Bikini brief threesomes packaged nicely in a plastic tube.  I can still envision the mannequin torsos bearing the sexy prints and ribs.  I believe the three-pack was $12, and I remember saving up on numerous occasions to purchase the hottest newbies in the store.

One day, while venturing through Wal-Mart with my girlfriend (I was in high school). We stumbled upon some very strappy all silk bikini briefs.  I had to have them.  She bought them for me.  No big deal.  After all, it was the 1990s and everyone wore some form of a brief.  Most guys wore bikini briefs.  It was super socially acceptable at the time—don’t worry guys. I believe we are getting back there. Back to the story: This experience opened Pandora’s box of desire for my undies habits.  I found myself wanting skimpier cuts and sexier fabrics.  I experimented with thongs, string tangas, and even a few jock straps (back when everyone wore them to the gym, but no one wore them for everyday wear).  This spiraled to rayon—SUPER SEXY LOOK AND FEEL. Eventually landed me in the new phenomenon of MESH.

Mesh to me offers several components that I want to explore. Including hole size, breath-ability, and functionality.  I would like my opening statement on this subject to be simple.  MESH IS A PRACTICAL OPTION THAT IS DOWNRIGHT SEXY—Afterall, you can see through it.

So what do I look for when buying mesh briefs (you can get boxer briefs and thongs too)? I’m glad you asked.

HOLE SIZE (Keep Your Mind Out of the Gutter)

The very definition of the word “mesh” is a material that has space between threads at consistent intervals to create openings for air and other substances to pass through. Naturally, the first thing I do is analyze the hole size.  This analysis is done with purpose.  Depending on the activity that you are engaged in, size of the space in the mesh will either limit or delimit your opportunity to succeed at the desired task.

For instance, if I’m going to be working out, I might want a tight mesh (smaller holes).  In my experience, large-hole mesh often causes chafing when I run or do other workout activities for a long period of time.  If I am lifting weights, I can probably go with a larger-hole mesh.  If I am going to be wearing mesh for sex appeal (I’m straight and sometimes wear my undies for my wife’s viewing pleasure). I’m probably going to still choose a small-hole mesh.  Large-hole mesh tends to pinch a growing anatomy (if you know what I mean—not that they’re staying on long anyway).  If I am going to wear them under board shorts (don’t crucify me because I don’t wear swim briefs every time I go to the beach). I’m definitely going to go for larger-hole mesh so the water can run out and the fabric will dry faster. Large-hole is also good for sleeping and lounging on a lazy Saturday.  Now that we’ve gotten the basics out of the way, let’s talk about some of the other things to look for.

BREATH-ABILITY

Several years ago, the underwear industry went through this very awkward phase of synthetic fabrics that had no porous value at all.  This translated to a sexy feel, but with sweaty balls and butt crack.  The end result was a putrid smell that caused men to lose all sex appeal when undressing.  Thankfully, designers and fabric specialists have found softer modal materials. That eliminate this issue without having to resort solely to the moisture absorbing greatness of cotton.  Although these nice modals and blends exist, if you are truly active, you will like a little extra breathability that is provided by mesh.

I understand that not everyone reading this post walks or runs 6 or 7 miles a day.  Given that most climates in the world have a season of heat accompanied by humidity. I’d say the breathability offered by mesh fabric is still relevant to all.  Where I live, you can lose a pound of body sweat walking from the car to the front door of your house in some of the summer months.  Mesh is just a great option to have at the ready in your underwear drawer.  It breaths well and allows the boys to get fresh air.

FUNCTIONALITY

Whether you are about to engage in a rapid, heart intensive workout, or your engines are getting revved up for that special loved-one, mesh underwear can be a very functional choice.  I consider the mesh briefs that I have in my collection to be a viable option for everyday wear. However, I want to give two strong words of caution if you are going to branch out in to the realm of mesh underwear.

1. Beware of the Leg Band: Because of the construction space between the gaps in mesh, the underwear leg band on mesh briefs typically has to be a little bit thicker in order to fully grab ahold of the fabric and not be cheaply built.  What does this mean to you? A thicker leg band often times causes two problems.  The first of which involves your underwear line while wearing tight pants or shorts. The second is that a thicker leg band sometimes causes pinching and binding on the scrotum. Because of these issuses, I recommend that you carefully examine the leg band to ensure that a soft pliable fabric is used to bind the mesh to the frame of the briefs.  This will ensure that your undie line will be reduced as well as the tightness on the legs themselves diminished.  Boxer brief wearers need to follow the same guidance, as the tightness on your thighs is uncomfortable as well.  If you like thongs, don’t worry about.  Thongs don’t have a leg band.
2. I recently posted a poll on my @manatomicallyme Twitter account asking guys how they like to groom their pubic hair when wearing sexy undies.  Nearly 70% said that they liked the trimmed look so as to not be all jungle bush looking when undressing.  Less than 10% said they liked to go bald and the rest were free-bushing (Natural growth).  I’m not insinuating that you should go bald or trim when wearing mesh, I’m simply asking you to make a conscious choice.  Look in the mirror and decide if you are happy with what you see through the mesh (I can’t help with dangling participle size—consult a doctor for that one).  If you are happy with the look, go with it!  After all, I always recommend that YOU need to be the one who most loves the undies you are wearing. Just be cognizant that you can see through the mesh!

Functionality is key to anything that you are going to be wearing for a long period of time.  I believe the tips that I just gave and the tips that you will discover along your undie journey can help others discover pleasure under their pants.  Remember, that some things function well with some activities while they don’t with others.  Functionality is important when buying any underwear, but especially with mesh.

TO SUM IT UP:

If you are like me and are constantly scouring the Internet for the sexiest and latest designs and cuts. You are already on the journey to finding great fitting and looking undies.  I personally love to talk about the industry and quite honestly am enjoying the new found freedom that www.underwearnewsbriefs.com is giving me as a blogger.  I definitely recommend that you take the time to try MESH. Buy a pair and go on a run or a long walk.  See how they feel. Take a nice hot shower, powder your nether regions, and slip into some sexy mesh undies.  Drop your towel or pants like a boss and see how your wife or girlfriend, or whatever your flavor reacts. Talk to others about your experiences.  Heck, comment on this post and let us know! I guarantee you that MESH will liven up your workouts and your love life.  ENJOY!

Picture features Cocksox new Mesh line

Growing up in a pretty conservative home made it difficult for me to go after my underwear desires.  I remember doing my own laundry so my mom wouldn’t find out. Hiding in the corner of the locker room to change after gym class. Even sometimes wearing boxers over my bikini briefs so not to give away my passions.  Looking back on that, I feel totally silly.  A quick analysis of the situation reveals that I let other people’s ideas of normal affect my choices of comfort.  This limited my ability to feel sexy and forced my underwear habits into the closet.

The very first encounter I had with anything other than plain old briefs (granted, I did have a splash of color and even stripes in my Fruit of the Looms) happened when I was twelve years old.  A person that I looked up to and admired was a huge underwear fanatic.  His name was Dan.  Dan was straight, athletic, had a gorgeous fiancé and wore the skimpiest, sexiest, strappiest, and slinkiest underwear on the market.  It was the early 1990s and underwear seemed to be anything but normal for men.  After all, this was the era where professional athletes openly wore bikini briefs that were sometimes see through, too tight for the boys to enjoy, and downright edgy.

People who exhibit influence over others are leaders in the truest definition.  I don’t think we realize how much power of persuasion these individuals have on everyday choices—including underwear selection.  Dan opened my world to the opportunity to be an undie fan. And the plethora of choices that plaque my shopping experience today. I’m appreciative to this gentleman and have had a couple of conversations about underwear with him later on in adulthood.  He still wears sexy briefs!

Seeing that Dan, one of the coolest guys I knew at the time. I paid a whole lot of attention to his first layer of clothing. I decided that I was going to toss the tightie whities to the curb and opt for the best choice in my rural community—Hanes bikini briefs from Wal-Mart.  This was 3 years later when I was around 15.  I rounded up a very close friend who could drive to take me to the store. I’d saved the $7 necessary to buy a three pack and had previously laid my eyes on a combo that included a hot pink, black, and blue in a fairly high cut brief.  My friend was there for the transaction and immediately started in on how stupid it was that I was buying underwear.  He just didn’t get it.  No matter how much I looked up to Dan and his choice of undies, voices of dissension played a huge role in my decision to hide my underwear fascination.  This led me to perceive that something was wrong with me.

Perception is reality.  We live in a society that places high regard on what others think.  We teach our children in school to worry worry worry about groups of other children and how to fit in.  This plays well into the hands of underwear fanatics both gay and straight.  I’ve wondered many times what people would think if I were to have an emergency and the paramedic had to cut my pants off only to reveal my bikini briefs.  We’d rather wear no underwear at all than to be caught in something that might not fit a proper perception.  For far too long I’ve let others opinions and ideas about men’s underwear keep me from feeling my best and being comfortable in my favorite undies.  I’d like to re-phrase the question.  Who SHOULD be the biggest influence on your underwear?  Unequivocally, YOU! Be who you are. Enjoy your own style.  Pull on that thong with confidence.  Strut your bikini briefs in the gym locker room.  Simply be YOU!

I want to thank Dan for being the biggest influence on my underwear in the past.

However, the truth is that my underwear is my business and my ability to feel great is my choice. I am the biggest influence on my underwear and letting other’s opinions sway that is totally shallow.  I’m thankful for my wife who encourages me to be who I am unashamedly.  I am also thankful for my Underwear News Briefs family that encourages expression in the purest of ways.  For all of the guys out there who hid their inner undie desire, let’s stand up for our briefs!

Picture by PetitQ