UNB has been a passion project of mine for over 10 years. If you are a regular reader, you already know that UNB is a site dedicated to true underwear/gear lovers and a community to bond with guys no matter sexual orientation, race, or anything. I have made some fantastic friends through the blog. Such as our former asst editor Salvatore. He’s a straight guy but we bonded first over undies, and now we are life long friends and still talk often.
However, when you encounter guys or people outside of the underwear world (by this I mean people who don’t get underwear), I get strange looks at the time. They think that I am running a sex or hook up site. It’s like I’m the Larry Flint of the underwear world. This is the look I am sometimes given by gay and straight people.
To Build a Community
As many of you know, I am a gay guy running the site. I have tried to keep a welcoming site that accepts everyone. As we have seen the straight guys have come to the site and joined as writers and assistant editors. This has been the goal since I started the site. I wanted all guys to read it not just gay guys. Did I ever think this would happen in the first 10 years, I did not. But it shows you put out a passionate product it will connect with people.
In the last year or so I have wanted to focus on building a community. Over the 10 years of UNB, we have pivoted a few times in our goals. This one is super important to me. More guys are sharing their love of underwear and gear online, without hesitation. Some are doing it with 100% transparency. People like Scruffy Gear, UndieLover24, and Sixfootfiveguy all are living their best underwear/gear life.
When we first started UNB, there were not many ways to really put yourself out there. Now we have Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr (well up till last year), and more. It’s no longer shameful or strange to love underwear. It’s becoming more natural, and I think some guys are asking themselves “Why am I not rocking the Pink Thong (or insert any good pair of undies)?”
We have started to interview influencers on social media and profile “real guys.” Sometimes the real guys showing off could be model material. But they aren’t guys we are paying for shoots they are doing it themselves and showing off. These guys all have agreed to be featured on the site which is fantastic. I hope we get a lot more guys to join in and share their love of underwear.
This brings me to another thing I get asked. I have teamed up with Scruffy Gear Blog. He’s one of the most amazing guys out there. Super friendly, down to earth and someone I would definitely consider a friend. I have been asked by people “Why are you promoting another underwear blog?” The short answer is we are all in this together and should all be on the same team.
The long answer is I love to support people doing great things. This includes brands, stores, models, photographers, influencers and other bloggers. We all are doing different things, and there is room for everyone in the space. There are very few people in the world of underwear that I don’t like working with, and those who I don’t build a community I prefer not to work with at all. It’s actually rare brands, and others are banned from UNB. Life is too short and why hold a grudge. Do I hold a grudge for some? That’s a story for another time. And I’ll likely be in Vegas when I tell it. LOL
I should do more to promote them and Men and Underwear. The other blog that I love. It’s something I have on the road map for this year. And if you run a blog feel free to reach out. It’s great to find guys who are bloggers.
UNB and my personal life
I made a decision back when UNB started that the blog is not about me. It’s about the industry focusing on brands, retailers, models, photogs and real people. I was having a discussion with Scruffy Gear blog I wish I had made it more about me, and we commiserated on the pros and cons of both ways of doing a blog. I mean both have their good and bad sides. And neither one is the best way to do a blog.
This is a little inside baseball, but I try to put more of myself in the blog this past year but after years of making it “journalistic” it is hard for me to dive right in and share. I want to keep it objective, but I keep telling myself it’s a blog and I can put in my personal feelings and such when I feel it’s necessary. So as the year goes on you will see more. Plus I have body issues too. I’m a bigger guy who loves undies. I haven’t always been, and I go up and down. So I am very self-conscious on the whole thing. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
UNB has affected my personal life. As I mentioned above when I make friends or potential dates, I’m always upfront about UNB and what it is about and the future of the site. I got the idea for this post from someone who was having issues with their partner and undies (or could be issues). I’m of the school of dating where you are honest and upfront. I know in the world of online dating it’s not common. Most want to put the best version of their self out there and then let people know the other stuff. UNB I’m pretty upfront around the 2-3 time talking. Some people get what I am doing, turning my passion into a positive thing and making it a job. While others get creeped out and are like “that’s a weird thing to do.” Yes, I have had someone straight up tell me that. And with that, I said “NEXT.”
UNB is in my DNA and its something I have a love/hate relationship with, lol. Some say I’m energized and on top of the world with the site. The other days it’s like “Do I have to update it? I don’t want to work; I have no creative energy.” But it usually goes back to the right side after a while. In the 10 years, there was only once I considered selling the site, but that lasted about 10 mins after the offer was made, and I said no!
I am not going to be with someone, dating that is, who isn’t 100% ok with UNB. If you don’t get it and don’t want me to do it, well we won’t be dating. I have no issue sitting down with a guy and showing them the site and explaining precisely what I do and show them the business I have built. It’s not a fortune 500 biz, but it is something I am proud of, hell it’s the job I have had the longest! I think UNB grounds me and keeps me steady. One reason for this is it changes from one year to the next. I go look through the archives for TBT and see how I and the site has grown. It keeps changing and growing, and that’s what the magic is for the site.
UNB is a Dirty secret
I say this because we have had more than one guy join, only to leave once their partner, bf, gf, husband or wife, found out they were writing on an underwear blog. We have had several guys this has happened to, so anytime a guy comes on the site who is dating or married, I specifically ask A. if their partner is supportive and knows they are writing for the site. B. that their partner is ok with us sending review pairs to them. You wouldn’t believe the number of times we sent undies to review and their partner intercepted it and interrogated them on who is sending them undies.
It’s incredible how many guys keep their love of undies as a little secret. In the world of “fetishes,” this is pretty tame. I don’t consider myself an underwear fetish guy but an underwear lover. A fetish is “any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.” As defined by dictionary.com. Underwear to me is a lifestyle. Underwear is more than just sexual to me, granted we all have our stories that involve undies! But it’s about comfort, fashion, and confidence. I pick underwear due to what the day may hold. If I’m feeling down, I usually wear one of my favorites. If it’s going to be active something that gives support. If I have to present or do something like that, a pair that is wild and makes me smile knowing I have on a leopard Cocksox bikini under my pants and none of these people watching me know that.
I think so many see underwear as something personal and we never share it. When we do, they think we are wanting to either show off our sexual side or attract someone into it for fun on the side. Since they equate underwear, especially designer underwear, on the sexual side, they don’t see what we are doing. We need to point out to them there is more than just the sexual side with undies. Once they understand that, I think they will see UNB like a travel or food blog. It’s something you enjoy, but it’s not a “fetish.”
This is part of the reason I think we have seen the growth of straight guys reading the site. They realize that we are about comfort and underwear. They feel welcome here and a place they can be themselves around guys who get them. Most of our gay readers are very welcoming to our straight readers. That’s because, in 10 years of doing the blog, our origin stories are so similar. It amazes me how much they are the same. We get each other and support one another. I have had so many conversations with straight guys about undies that are just amazing. I think they finally get a guy who gets it and it’s like the flood gate gets open, and they can connect with someone like they never have before. It’s like their own type of coming out. Gay guys can get away with cray and wild undies in society because we’re supposed to be sexual animals. Whereas straight guys shouldn’t be fashionable or embrace their sexual side.
WOW, I have really been on my soapbox for this post. I wasn’t expecting to write such a long post. However, I think a lot of this needs to be said, and I hope there are some of you out there who can use this to approach friends or people you are dating and be open and honest with them about undies. It’s not a sexual thing, it’s a lifestyle thing. I think honesty is always a good thing and will bring you a lot closer together.
UNB will continue to evolve and grow. I have no plans of quitting the blog anytime soon. I do wish I had a lot more help but right now it’s working for me, and I’m pivoting again and getting into a new groove. As we enter our 2nd decade, I don’t know what the future will hold, but I hope we bring in new guys into the world of amazing men’s underwear. And feel free to reach out to me anytime for advice, recommendations or just to say howdy and make a new friend. I will try to answer emails and DM’s as quick as I can!
Thanks for listening guys. Feel free to share your stories with us! We may profile you!