As most of you know, I am a huge proponent of wearing thongs, both as underwear and swimwear. I wear thong swimwear almost exclusively, in both private and public settings. I have gained a bit of experience over the years, which I feel is sage advice for any of you contemplating wearing a thong style suit to the local beach or pool. I will focus on a few key elements you should keep in mind as you plan your first public thong outing! You will need to plan on a number of things including knowing the laws, proper grooming, judging your audience, and practicing proper beach etiquette.
KNOW THE LAWS! I cannot stress this enough-whether that means looking for signage around the beach or pool, researching case law, browsing Internet forums, or calling/writing the local jurisdiction you plan to visit to ensure you can legally wear the particular suit you wish to wear. Some areas have no laws restricting what you can wear as swimwear, provided that all of the essentials are covered. Other places (or so I’ve heard) actually specify that the smallest part of a suit must be a certain minimal width. Some places even go as far as to outlaw thongs entirely. No matter which route you take, please ensure you don’t break any laws or offend anyone else. The laws are created for a couple of reasons. First, local jurisdictions may impose laws that their citizens vote on, to uphold a certain standard of conduct that they want to form a community around. Next, just as some of us may want to visit a thong friendly beach or pool, others may absolutely not want to see that view when they sunbathe. Local laws can provide each group with a designated area they are free to do as they please without fear of repercussion.
As you prepare to step out into the public wearing a thong (possibly for the first time), take a moment to look in the mirror or ask your spouse or a friend to take a view of you. Make sure of a few things before you share that same view with the public. Ask yourself (or a friend) a few questions: Does this suit fit me? Is it too small or large? Does anything hang out of it that wasn’t intended? Can you see through it? Do I need to groom myself before going out into public? If the answers satisfy you, then go ahead. If not, you may need to revisit your grooming routine to make sure everything is tidied up first. A thong (in my opinion) will look best if you do some proper manscaping or outright shaving so that it is the focus of attention and not any unsightly body hair! I’ll let you make your own decisions concerning that, but at least you know my opinion now!
Please consider the location before making the decision to strip down to a thong. Just because it is legal to wear a thong in your city and they have provided a water fountain with benches around doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best idea to strip down for your suntan there. Please take others activities into consideration-if you visit a park that is completely occupied by families with kids playing and you are the only person that will be in a swimsuit, you may want to rethink your idea. I don’t at all want to discourage anybody from wearing a thong, but understand that we have to help build a positive ideal for guys who wear thongs. Don’t be the creepy guy that gets on a playground swing (wearing next to nothing) next to a three-year-old and their mom! As long as you are in a setting appropriate to wear swimwear, other people are (or have previously) wearing swimwear, then you should be fine. Be a trendsetter-don’t wait for somebody else to show up in a thong. If you do you will likely never wear one! Wear your thong with confidence and be positive about it-you aren’t required to cover up every time someone walks by. I have worn a thong in many places thongs aren’t the norm and places where I have seen dozens of thongs in a single day. Do what makes you happy!
Learn proper beach etiquette! Whether at the beach or pool, know that first and foremost safety is the number one concern. Don’t set up your chair right in front of the lifeguard stand, or so far away that they can’t see you, especially if you plan on getting into the water. After you have planned that out remember that you aren’t the only person on the beach. The people who got there earlier than you earned the right to that view of the ocean or pool-don’t set up right in front of them! Also, keep in mind everyone goes to the beach or pool for their own reasons. Just because you are a social person and love talking doesn’t mean that everyone does. Learn to read social cues and body language. If you must approach someone to speak, pay attention and leave if you think they aren’t pleased with your presence. The last thing we all need is somebody calling the police because “some guy in a thong” kept talking to them or wouldn’t leave them alone. Plan on admiring the scenery from a distance. Avoid approaching other people because you want to see what they are wearing (or lack of) or that you want to show off your new suit. Most locales that don’t prohibit thongs could quickly revisit their policy if they find people are practicing exhibitionistic or voyeuristic behaviors in a public setting! Be friendly to people if approached, and make sure you clean up after yourself. When you visit the beach or pool, take a bag or container for your trash, and always make it a point to look around for trash others may have missed as well.
So now that fall is setting in in most parts of the country, you have several months to plan your perfect new beach day. Pick out a hot new thong, research an area convenient to where you live, and maybe even plan on convincing a friend to come along and get out there and enjoy the sunshine. If you have any questions about where may or may not be an appropriate place to try out that new swim thong, drop me a line in the comments and I’ll try to provide you with some resources to form your own opinion. I’m definitely not an attorney, but I’ll do anything I can do to point you in the general direction. In the end, do what makes you happy (within the realm of the law), forget what others think or say, and enjoy the freedom of wearing that new thong bikini. If you’re like me, you’ll never go back! Drop me a line in the comments below with your experience!