Wear What You Feel is Sexy – Body Image and Underwear
I”m starting my journey to loose weight again. I had a physical in the first time in forever. It shed light into two things. First I needed to loose weight (DUH!) and second for the first time in my life I have higher than average cholesterol. But, with what I eat it’s no wonder that both were the case.
Over the last few years I have been working from home. Making it way to easy to eat what ever was near by. All the weight I lost a few years ago all came back. And also, I didn’t care. I was at a point in my life I wasn’t happy and thought “who really cares.” I’m in the process of transitioning back to an office setting. Thus, getting out of the house on a daily basis. Keep your fingers crossed.
UNB has been one thing that I LOVE doing more than anything. It has been a bright spot in my life. I created it in another time of my life that wasn’t the best. Its been the one constant amazing thing in my life. Being a bigger guy, this can cause a problem. I can’t wear many of the brands we report on. Some don’t make XL and others end at size 36 waist. This has caused issues with me and my favorite style.
The style I love the best are bikinis. The main reason is I like tighter underwear that keeps everything in place. Especially with a great pouch that gives ample support. That being said, its not “acceptable” for bigger guys to wear skimpy underwear. Only muscle guys with 6 pack abs should wear this underwear, is what’s being reinforced. And bigger guys should stick to boxer briefs and similar styles.
To this I say NO WAY. Why can’t a bigger guy wear something super sexy and fun? Look on any social media with a bigger guy wearing a bikini. You will see plenty of negative comments about why he shouldn’t wear them. Why is this any concern of the commenters. I say bravo for putting it out there and taking the bold step. This is why, over the years guys have relented on posting personal pictures on the site. If they are outside the norm of what’s considered “in shape”. They don’t want to take the risk of being called “Fat” or worse. Commenters can rip someone apart. This has happened a few times on the site in the past. I try to shut it down as soon as I can.
What are the sizes of guys who read the site?
According to our latest survey: Smalls 19%, Medium 46%, Large 23% and XL are 11% and 1% is other sizes. So the majority of guys are who read the site are medium. We don’t leave the XL guys out. I would note that small guys have problems as well. But it’s not something I can speak of, one of our other guys will address this. We cover underwear for all guys, no pun intended
When I was younger, I guess you would consider me a Twink. I was tall with a 32 waist and could get away with wearing what ever I wanted. I even wore swim briefs quite often and would lay out in them and not care what people had to say. As I went through my 20’s my metabolism slowed down at 27. Before that time I could eat what ever I wanted and never gained weight. After 27 that all changed. It wasn’t something that happened over night. Over the next few years I went up to a 36 waist. Being 6’4” that’s not really that big. It’s probably closer to what I should be at in waist size.
Then through my 30’s I slowly crept up in weight. In 2012, I hight the hight of 302 pounds. The over the 300 mark was the catalyst to me loosing weight. Over the next year. I watched what I ate and cut out french fries, soda and other high fat foods. It worked well and I lost over 75 pounds and got down to 225. My waist went from a 42 to a 36ish (you know sizing). I felt much better and could fit in all the amazing underwear we report on. Before i lost weight there were several brands I never was able to wear. I was reporting but unable to wear what was out there.
After this time I lost a job and focused mainly on my business. It was rough and had it’s ups and downs. Those who own your own small business know what I”m talking about. It’s working 7 days a week, no sick or vacation days. And I was just getting by economically. This caused massive stress and working from home I would eat when the stress hit. I have never been a stress eater until recently. This caused me to gain all the weight I lost back.
Underwear During this time
Before I lost the weight I still wore what I liked. I never let anyone dictate what I could or should wear. It was hard to find great pairs to fit. Brands that I loved and wore were Cocksox, N2N Bodywear, Big Boy Pants and a few more. After I lost the weight I branched out and tried a lot more brands. It was so exhilarating to be able to embrace my love. It made me happy.
When I started to gain the weight back I had to break out the XLs again. Which I wasn’t happy about but I had a lot of favorite pairs that were XL and were too big for me. So I would have plenty of great pairs to wear. I guess that’s the best thing about running a blog, you have plenty of amazing undies.
The last year I still wore my bikinis and pouch briefs. I didn’t listen to what society had to say. I am single and on dating sites. I have shared some pics. For the most part I get great response from what I post. I should preface this by saying these are guys who love bigger guys. But on the flip side I haven’t had anyone speak out and say negative things. Well directly to me. They may think it but haven’t said it to me.
Do Some of Our Readers feel the same?
I have talked to a few of our readers on a regular basis. Some are bigger guys and have voiced similar opinions. They wear what they want but keep it hidden to only their significant other or sit themselves. It’s not like they are running out and showing everyone their undies.
Many have mentioned they don’t want to wear thongs or bikinis until they loose weight. I always think, WHY? Why are you not wearing the underwear you want? It’s no one’s business what you wear. If you want to rock a mesh thong under your pants, DO IT! Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t wear it.
Men’s underwear already needs a boost in main stream culture. Even the guys in great shape sometimes get slack from mainstream America. Great undies are just for women and you should be wearing what most guys are wearing. If you don’t they question your sexuality and think only gay guys should wear something like that. Bigger guys get the weight stigma on top of that.
What Needs to be done?
First, the hardest is to get general acceptance of underwear for men. This is something that is not easy to accomplish. We are UNB are working on that and have branched out to more guys. We have gay/straight/bi, single/married/dating and large/small. All guys are welcome at UNB. I have had more conversations this last year with a variety of guys. It opens my eyes to issues all guys have, and we are more similar than you think!
Next, Brands making underwear in bigger sizes. Bigger sizes are slowly coming to the world of men’s underwear. Brands like N2N Bodywear and Junk UnderJeans are making XL and larger sizes. Then there are brands like BearSkn. They make underwear in all sizes from small to I believe 4XL. The underwear is great quality and fit. I have tried many pairs of BearSkn. It’s very well made with amazing materials. They really took a problem and created underwear for this market. BearSkn started very classic and are starting to branch out into more fashion with the Neon line. I hope we see them grow and progress in their designs. Currently they only have briefs and boxer briefs. It would be awesome for them to make a jock!
I wish other brands would take note and make some larger sizes. Its totally up to them to do sizing. There are brands that just go up to 36 inch waist. Which cuts off a big section of the market. If you’re tall like me having a 38 inch waist doesn’t look big. A tall guy, like me, can be a 36 or 38 inch waist and it not seem “big.” It would be the equivalent of a guy around 5’9” being a 34 waist.
We need to encourage guys and not discourage them from wearing underwear. We are all underwear lovers. We share a unique brotherhood that crosses sexual orientation. I have had the honor to get to know many of our straight readers and staff members. We have so much in common. Our love of underwear almost always starts in our teens. We have talked about this in a few Brief Talks with Brandon and Salvatore. Both have a very distinct point of view. Speaking from the gay perspective, we need to not do what society does and label guys who love undies as gay. And really what does it matter? Let’s encourage guys to branch out and try new styles and brands.
We still have a stigma that loving underwear is a strange fetish. I don’t go out and totally broadcast I run an underwear blog. When guys find out I do a blog, they share, “OMG I love underwear too.” Like it’s a secret and something to be a shamed of having. Let’s face it in the world of fetishes/loves wearing great underwear is pretty tame. I would love it if we got to a place where we could talk underwear like anything else we wear.
Lastly, wear what makes you feel amazing. It’s up to you to make the choice to wear what you want. I have been thin and big. Each time I wear what I want too. I love the fit and feel of a great bikini. The way the pouch holds everything in place. I hate underwear that lets things flop about. Support is the main factor in underwear. If you feel amazing in a thong, wear it. To hell with what others think. Including your significant other. If they really are your significant other they should accept and not make fun of undies. If someone I date makes fun of my underwear at the beginning. I know right then this isn’t going to work.
Feeling sexy is something only you can define for yourself. It could be silk boxers to a lace thong and everything in between. Great underwear has a side effect. It makes you feel more confident. We have heard anecdotal stories about guys wearing amazing undies while working. Most revolve around giving presentations and similar things. We firmly agree this happens!
Back to my journey. The reason I am loosing weight is for myself. I’m not doing it to make someone else happy. I got to where I was because I was very unhappy. To make a step in the right direction I feel this needs to be part of that journey. I will not work to get to a 32 waist and will be quite happy with a 36. I think much smaller than that it looks too thin on me. I will still be rocking my bikinis no matter what size I am. I don’t care what people think. If you don’t think I should wear bikinis, I am not going to listen.
Body image is one thing we need to talk more about in the world of men’s underwear. I hope this will open up a conversation about the topic. This is a very personal post for me. It’s kind of therapeutic for me. I haven’t talked much about this to anyone. I hope you will comment, share on social media and/or email questions/comments.