Impressing in the Locker Room
I’ll admit it, I have a wandering eye when it comes to the locker room. But let’s face it: locker rooms, besides their obvious function, are temples to non-verbal communication. Per etiquette, glances are to be kept at eye-level (though that’s so much easier said than done), and extended nakie time conversations are to be avoided. Whether you’re gay, straight or somewhere in between, your underwear speaks volumes without you even realizing it. It can mean the difference between being respected as someone who cares about their appearance beyond the physique, or derided as the guy who’s got no game.
While I suspect that all this nakedness is less a sensitive issue for gay men, our straight brothers can be made to feel awkward. We’ve all been there or seen those guys exiting the shower, walking over to locker #34, and then sliding on their after-gym underwear while still wrapped in a wet towel. Guys, we understand your trepidation. There’s always a chance that you’re being sized up, so why risk overexposure? All the more reason to wrap that package up in something appealing for the big reveal. Eyes will inevitably wander, so show off your best.
No one should be caught in droopy drawers. You think your nakedness is over-sharing? What about those 5 year old Hanes boxer briefs with the bacon-inspired waistband and ‘vintage’ holes. If you can afford a $45 (insert ironic hipster band name here) concert tee, surely you can splurge an Andrew Jackson for a kickin’ new pair of undies. So let’s chat…
Maybe your issue is not so much showing off that carefully sculpted posterior as it is dangling your naughty bits for all to gawk. Jockstraps are a happy medium between nakedness and full coverage. Frankly, that’s why they were invented. They offer excellent range of movement, near-zero bunching, breathability for the aforementioned bum, and plenty of support for ‘the boys.’ They’re also incredibly versatile. You can wear them before, during, or after your workout (though we wouldn’t recommend using one pair for triple functions). Some of our current jock favorites include the C-IN2 Grip and Timoteo Cellblock
Perhaps modesty is a must for you, but the thought of sliding on a pair of cotton briefs, after a hard workout and a hot shower, is none-too-appealing. No one wants to feel clean only to then walk out of the locker room with a developing case of swamp ass. Fret not! Most modern underwear brands are happily experimenting with fabric blends, and even some mesh components, for maximum breathability and plenty of support. May we direct your attention to the Malebasics Spot Brief and Andrew Christian CoolFlex.
Never sacrifice fashion over function. They go together like ball 1 and ball 2.
As always, check out our reviews for the latest introductions from your favorite brands, and even some brands just coming onto the scene! We do our best to highlight the performance aspects to help you make the best decisions for gym/active wear. If you have any suggestions on pairs we should review, let us know. Help our locker room brothers evolve!
Photo by Tom Cullis for Timoteo featuring the Rugby line!